Best jokes ever

3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
Vote: has 79.00 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 229 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 1439 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"! The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?" Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote: has 78.98 % from 417 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, science, teacher
Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
Vote: has 78.97 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Vote: has 78.97 % from 186 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
Vote: has 78.96 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!" Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth." The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!" The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here's another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune." The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest. The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?" The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."
Vote: has 78.96 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, driving, god, priest, wine
Yo momma so fat when she fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up.
Vote: has 78.95 % from 883 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"
Vote: has 78.95 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting