Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.