Best jokes ever

The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner. They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container. The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief. Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke. The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish. The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic. She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life." Poof! She disappears. The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong." Presto, he vanishes. "And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss. The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM." Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
Vote:
has 79.05 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: communication, genie, holiday, management, work
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church. He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?" "Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!" "Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!" And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
Vote:
has 79.05 % from 588 votes. More jokes about: age, church, life, priest, sex
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
Vote:
has 79.04 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Vote:
has 79.02 % from 454 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, holiday, sport, travel
Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Vote:
has 79.02 % from 790 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
Vote:
has 79.01 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: dirty
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote:
has 79.01 % from 1480 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
Vote:
has 79.01 % from 1604 votes. More jokes about: new year, prison, racist
Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
Vote:
has 79.01 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: love, phone, women
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Vote:
has 79.00 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
<<<151152153154
More jokes →
Page 151 of 1427.