Best jokes ever

Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
Vote: has 78.45 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently. Little Suzie told about her trip to Florida. Clyde said his dad got drunk all the time. Little Johnny put a dot on the board and the teacher asked him to explain what was exciting about a period. He said: "Hell if I know but my sister said she missed hers and my mom screamed, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy nextdoor killed himself."
Vote: has 78.45 % from 254 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
Vote: has 78.44 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, catholic, church, drunk
Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Vote: has 78.43 % from 714 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, food
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.
Vote: has 78.41 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, husband, insulting, Yo mama
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
Vote: has 78.41 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, wife
Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Vote: has 78.41 % from 1361 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, weather
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Vote: has 78.40 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
Vote: has 78.40 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, death, nerd
A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms. ‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant. ‘Would you like to buy some?’ ‘No thanks,’ replies the woman. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does.’
Vote: has 78.39 % from 624 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex