Best jokes ever

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote:
has 78.68 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
Vote:
has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.  "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy.  After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"  The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."  The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."  The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."  The preacher said, I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss."  The little boy looked at him happily and said, "You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"
Vote:
has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: kids, priest
Boy: “I’ve just had the most awful time. First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.” Friend: “Wow! How did you pull through?” Boy: “I don’t know. Toughest spelling test I ever had!”
Vote:
has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: school
Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: gym, money
A guy and his wife went to an expensive golf course. He said to his wife, "Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don't know if we can afford to break a window." His wife tees off and breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house. He said, "Oh no! We had better go ask how much it's gonna be." So he and his wife go up to the house and see the door open. They went inside and saw the golf ball lying next to a broken glass bottle. A man walks up and says, "Thank you!" The husband said, "I'm sorry about the..." And the man interrupts, "Oh don't worry about the window. I have to thank you for getting me out of the bottle. You see, I'm a genie. So you get one wish and your wife gets one, but, in return, you have to give me one." The husband asks for $100 million. The genie says, "Done." The wife asks for 80 exotic sports cars. Genie says, "Done." "Now, my wish is to have sex with your wife because, you know, I've been trapped in that bottle for so long." They agreed since their extravagant wishes had been granted. And so the genie has sex with the man's wife, not just once but many times. When they're done, the genie asks the wife, "How old is your husband?" She answers, "33." And, the man said, "And he still believes in genies?"
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: age, genie, golf, marriage, money
What do you call an Asian billionare. Cha Ching.
Vote:
has 78.67 % from 1177 votes. More jokes about: money, racist
<<<162163164165
More jokes →
Page 162 of 1428.