Best jokes ever

A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Wife: "Honey let's play a game?" Husband: "Ok, what is the game all about?" Wife: "If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month." Husband: "Ok and if you fail, I will have your salary too right?" Wife: (smile) "Yes darling." Husband: "Ok" (stood up and was ready to run to any direction) Wife: "Are u ready?" Husband: "Yes, ready." Wife: "Turkey" It has been 4 hours now the husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the country or the bird.
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife
Yo mamma is so fat, she got hit by a car and said: Who threw that rock???
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has 78.52 % from 919 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
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has 78.51 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde
What do you call an Asian billionare. Cha Ching.
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has 78.51 % from 1129 votes. More jokes about: money, racist
Q:Why can't Mexicans play Uno? A:They always steal the green cards.
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has 78.50 % from 761 votes. More jokes about: racist
A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wIfe loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc. The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. Shazam! Instantly he turned 93 years old.
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has 78.50 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: age, anniversary, genie, time, travel
Doctor: "Liquor is a slow poison for you." Patient: "It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry."
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has 78.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, doctor
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
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has 78.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
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