Best jokes ever

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 78.67 % from 1182 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
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has 78.66 % from 597 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. "Breast fed," the woman replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination. Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk." "I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
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has 78.65 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: baby, doctor, food, women
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
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has 78.64 % from 471 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
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has 78.64 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: beer, death, redneck
Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
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has 78.64 % from 751 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"
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has 78.64 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
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has 78.64 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
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has 78.64 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, dirty, husband, women
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