Best jokes ever

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"
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has 78.22 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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has 78.21 % from 3063 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 78.20 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
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has 78.19 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, fart, food
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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has 78.18 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.
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has 78.17 % from 1908 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, weather
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.” The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”
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has 78.16 % from 386 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, jewish, old people, priest
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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has 78.15 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
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has 78.15 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: cop
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