Best jokes ever

What’s the difference between two lawyers in a Porsche and a porcupine? The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?" "Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, lawyer
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde. "You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said. "What's the problem?" "I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 78.02 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
A man was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a visitor waiting for him outside the bar. He had just bought another large beer and he didn"t want anyone to drink it. So, he wrote a little sign on a piece of paper and left it by his beer that said: "I spit in my beer." When he returned to his bar stool there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer too!"
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
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