Best jokes ever

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: music, wife, work
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: management, money, office, technology
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger. A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her. As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop
What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby. Sum ting wong.
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has 77.49 % from 900 votes. More jokes about: baby, racist
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 77.49 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
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has 77.49 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: business, math, money
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