Best jokes ever

Why can't Chinese couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white!
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has 77.68 % from 580 votes. More jokes about: baby, racist
Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
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has 77.66 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: nerd, student, stupid
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I don't know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one and Daddy totally freaked out and Mommy fainted"
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has 77.66 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney: "If I give you $300 to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies: "Sure, what's the other question?"
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has 77.66 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
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has 77.66 % from 817 votes. More jokes about: fish, stupid, weed, Yo mama
How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
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has 77.66 % from 1827 votes. More jokes about: money, racist
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
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has 77.64 % from 717 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, money, Yo mama
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” "I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?” ”Who said my Dad’s dead?” The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?” “He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.” “Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?” ”Who said my grandpa’s dead?” Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?” “He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?” “No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.” At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?” ”Who said he wanted to?”
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has 77.64 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, fitness, old people
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: men
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. – Abe Lemons
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: old people
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