Best jokes ever

The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
has 77.71 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers said I give up.
has 77.70 % from 738 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
has 77.70 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dog
Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.
has 77.69 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: dating, single, time
Yo mama is so fat, she needs two Facebook accounts for her profile picture.
has 77.69 % from 431 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
has 77.68 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife
Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
has 77.68 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: insulting, student, Yo mama
What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby. Sum ting wong.
has 77.67 % from 912 votes. More jokes about: baby, racist
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
has 77.67 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
has 77.67 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd, science
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