Best jokes ever

A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. "From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
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More jokes about: death, hunting, priest, religious, time
Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.
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More jokes about: alcohol
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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More jokes about: teacher, women
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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More jokes about: animal
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” He asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?” “Oh no,” I replied. “I’ve never done either.” Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?” I said, “No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy.” “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, motorcycling, rock climbing?” “No, I don’t,” I said. He said, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?” “No,” I said. “I have never done any of those things.” He looked at me and said, “Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?”
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More jokes about: life
My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
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More jokes about: geek, IT
Yo momma is so fat when she walked by the TV i missed 3 episodes!
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More jokes about: fat, technology, Yo mama
God made each and everyone of us until he got to China. Copy paste...copy paste...
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More jokes about: asian, god, racist
Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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More jokes about: life
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act.’ "Well, show me," the officer demanded. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."
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More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, god


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