Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Vote: has 77.12 % from 287 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
Vote: has 77.11 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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More jokes about: black humor
Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, "What you doing?"" Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
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More jokes about: dirty
Whats the simalarites between a fence and a white person? They both get jumped by Mexican and black people
Vote: has 77.06 % from 170 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Vote: has 77.06 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.
Vote: has 77.05 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, chemistry, nerd
Doctor: "Liquor is a slow poison for you." Patient: "It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry."
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, doctor
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, car, death, heaven, life
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris