Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Rappers are like the pens at the bank.
They all have chains on them, and don't write very well.
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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How does a black woman know when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon all the cotton is picked off.
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What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind?
"Well, at least I'm not black."
A ship goes out to sea and crashes.
6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island.
Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they come to this agreement.
All of the men will marry the one woman for a week.
So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on.
Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it.
This goes on for five years and everyone is happy.
Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week.
Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies.
The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful.
It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
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Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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