Best jokes ever

Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, phone, stupid, technology, wife
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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has 77.61 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
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has 77.60 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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has 77.60 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: women
Your mama so fat she eats ice cream with a shovel.
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has 77.59 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays. "The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day Tyrone is crying again . "What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask. Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day he comes home smiling. "What happened today Tyrone?" Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white." Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
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has 77.58 % from 1487 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, racist, school, teacher
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
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has 77.57 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: history, school
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
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has 77.57 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo mama is so fat, she needs two Facebook accounts for her profile picture.
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has 77.57 % from 395 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
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