Best jokes ever

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden. “But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.” The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.” And with that, he left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
Vote:
has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, fish
The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer. “Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car. “Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer. “Wait’ll my family finds out.” “Where’s your family?” “They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
Vote:
has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Vote:
has 77.53 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Vote:
has 77.52 % from 447 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
Vote:
has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
Vote:
has 77.51 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, life
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, hunting, wife
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
<<<186187188189
More jokes →
Page 186 of 1429.