Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Halloween, religious
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby. He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?" His wife confessed, "Not this time."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, couple, family, kids
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, work
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
Vote: has 77.50 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, heaven, life
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says: "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area." Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog?"
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal