Best jokes ever

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently. "I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"
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has 77.59 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: military
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
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has 77.58 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: divorce, geography, sex, travel, women
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 77.57 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
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has 77.57 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
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has 77.56 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: black humor, terrorist
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 77.55 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
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has 77.54 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: life
How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
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has 77.54 % from 1753 votes. More jokes about: money, racist
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: IT
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