Best jokes ever

A masked man walks into a bank and holds it up at gunpoint to rob the bank. In the process of robbing the bank, his mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the teller that was beside the one her just killed and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did and he shot and killed her too. He then turned to a man, a customer who just happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face. The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”
has 77.21 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: death, wife, women
What's the problem with an Asian pet store? There's always a kitchen in the back.
has 77.21 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: racist
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
has 77.20 % from 398 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
has 77.20 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: insulting, single, technology, ugly
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
has 77.19 % from 670 votes. More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.” The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
has 77.19 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: death, heaven, lawyer, money
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
has 77.18 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
More jokes →
Page 193 of 1428.