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Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
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has 76.96 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 76.95 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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has 76.94 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, redneck, sex
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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has 76.92 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, "What happened to you?" The tied up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"
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has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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has 76.89 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: military
Drink water, let's surprise the liver!
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, health
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? A: Time will tell.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, time
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
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