Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
There was only two vans.
Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers said I give up.
Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time.
I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer.
I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches.
Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down.
I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank?
A: Tell them you can't cum.
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Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day.
It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in."
So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
What's an extroverted IT professional?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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