Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor. The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s. As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?" Cobra: "I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."
If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. A more true Friend you will never find.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?" Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"
Students in the class (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) When teacher say tomorrow will be exam (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)(O_O) During the exam (→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→)(←_←) When monitor comes in (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) In the end of the exam (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏)
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.