Best jokes ever

When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, women
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” He asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?” “Oh no,” I replied. “I’ve never done either.” Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?” I said, “No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy.” “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, motorcycling, rock climbing?” “No, I don’t,” I said. He said, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?” “No,” I said. “I have never done any of those things.” He looked at me and said, “Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?”
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life