Best jokes ever

A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks". The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?" And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?" And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
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has 76.97 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets em down on the bar. And then the bartender said "Now dont you start anything!"
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, car
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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has 76.96 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo Mommas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.
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has 76.96 % from 304 votes. More jokes about: car, fat, Yo mama
Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? A: Self-employed.
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has 76.95 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
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has 76.95 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, old people, prison
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear David, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
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has 76.95 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, money, school, student
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 76.94 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
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has 76.93 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, genie, money
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