Best jokes ever

Student: "Sir, can I ask a question?" Teacher: "Yes!" Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?" Teacher: "I don't know." Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!" Teacher: "Ok, ask." Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?" Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in." Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in." Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!" Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?" Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals." Student: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge." Teacher: "Are you kidding me?" Student: "No sir, 1 last question." Teacher: "Ok!" Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?" Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross." Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..." Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..." Student: "No idea sir..." Teacher: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."
has 76.77 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: elephant, school, student, teacher
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
has 76.75 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
has 76.75 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd, science
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
has 76.74 % from 487 votes. More jokes about: math
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
has 76.72 % from 459 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
has 76.71 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
has 76.70 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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