When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” He asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?” “Oh no,” I replied. “I’ve never done either.” Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?” I said, “No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy.” “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, motorcycling, rock climbing?” “No, I don’t,” I said. He said, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?” “No,” I said. “I have never done any of those things.” He looked at me and said, “Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?”