Best jokes ever

Student: "Sir, can I ask a question?" Teacher: "Yes!" Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?" Teacher: "I don't know." Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!" Teacher: "Ok, ask." Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?" Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in." Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in." Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!" Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?" Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals." Student: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge." Teacher: "Are you kidding me?" Student: "No sir, 1 last question." Teacher: "Ok!" Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?" Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross." Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..." Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..." Student: "No idea sir..." Teacher: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."
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has 76.77 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: elephant, school, student, teacher
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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has 76.75 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
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has 76.75 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd, science
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
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has 76.74 % from 487 votes. More jokes about: math
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 76.72 % from 459 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
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has 76.71 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
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has 76.70 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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