Best jokes ever

There was this atheist and he was in the woods. And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking. He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him. He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.” The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian? Then the light disappeared. Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord for this meal I’m about to receive!”
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, atheist, christian, god
Yo' Mama got one eye and one leg. We call her IHOP.
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.
Vote: has 76.73 % from 249 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, military, Yo mama
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote: has 76.73 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah!”
Vote: has 76.71 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Vote: has 76.70 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
Vote: has 76.70 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Peter: My mom is having a new baby. Joy: What's wrong with the old one?
Vote: has 76.69 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
Vote: has 76.68 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
regular ass (_!_) fat ass (__!__) tight ass (!) flat ass (_._) bubble ass (_^_) sore ass (_*_) lop-sided ass (_!__) swishy ass {_!_} surprised ass (_o_) ass that's been around (_O_) kiss my ass (_x_) leave my ass alone (_X_) tired ass (_zzz_) wise ass (_o^o_) unlucky ass (_13_) money out the ass (_$_) dumb ass (_?_)
Vote: has 76.68 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart