Best jokes ever

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother: “What did you learn today?” Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
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has 76.78 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: school
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
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has 76.78 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: dirty
God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced, "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. And the worse news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Bill Gates called all of his programmers, marketing experts and administrators together and announced, "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."
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has 76.77 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: god, IT, political
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
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has 76.76 % from 575 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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has 76.75 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: blonde
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
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has 76.75 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ginger, sex
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money
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