Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed.
"All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?"
"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Vote:
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
Vote:
Rappers are like the pens at the bank.
They all have chains on them, and don't write very well.
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
One Sunday morning,a little girl and her mother go to church.
Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick.
Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church.
The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes.
Her mother asks her if she threw up.
"Yes," the girl says.
"But I didn't have to go all the way "round the back.
There was a box near the front door that said "For the Sick."
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time.
I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer.
I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches.
Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down.
I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...