Best jokes ever

I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind. Call me a sentimental old fool if you like, but I couldn't resist it. I texted my ex saying 'wish you were here'.
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: age, death, mean, morbid, relationship
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
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has 76.82 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, catholic, church, drunk
Yo mama is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
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has 76.81 % from 377 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly, people break into her house to close the curtains!
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has 76.80 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Patient: "Tell me how I can repay you for all your kindness." Doctor: "You can pay by cash, cheque or MONEY order."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cop
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