Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
Vote:
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds.
There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
There was an employment advertisement in an office.
So a guy went there.
Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?"
The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?"
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls.
He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin?
A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A: Meet Patty.
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike?
A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.