Best jokes ever

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
Vote: has 76.59 % from 525 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Vote: has 76.58 % from 176 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it?" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"
Vote: has 76.58 % from 252 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, church, jewish, money, racist
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
Vote: has 76.57 % from 855 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: masturbation, sex
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
Vote: has 76.57 % from 456 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, money
Whats the simalarites between a fence and a white person? They both get jumped by Mexican and black people
Vote: has 76.56 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."
Vote: has 76.56 % from 474 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, wife
There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
Vote: has 76.54 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?” Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Bark, Johnny, bark.” Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”
Vote: has 76.54 % from 190 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote: has 76.53 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, golf, money, teen