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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
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