Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.