Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?" But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the intenet to be worldwide.
Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”