Best jokes ever

Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
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has 75.99 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
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has 75.97 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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has 75.97 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dog, relationship, single
A drunk guy is sitting at a bar by himself one night and throws up all over the front of his shirt. "Oh great, my wife is going to kill me," he mumbles to himself. The guy sitting next to him sees what has happened and leans over towards him, "Hey buddy, just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife the guy sitting next to you threw up on you and he gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned." Completely inebriated the drunk man thanks his new friend and puts a twenty in his shirt pocket and heads for home. As soon as he walks through the front door his wife becomes irate and starts yelling at him, "Where have you been? you're completely drunk and you're a mess. Look at yourself, you puked all over the front of your shirt." Completely wasted and slurring his words he explains to the wife, "No no, the guy sitting next to me threw up on my shirt and he gave me $20 to get it cleaned. Look, it's right here in my shirt pocket." The wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, "There's $40 in here." "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."
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has 75.97 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, disgusting
"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
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has 75.96 % from 1108 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, memory, money
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China." The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bar, men
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