Best jokes ever

Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.
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has 75.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, teen
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
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has 75.63 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: beauty, friendship, love, single
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality. "Really," he gulped,"like what?" "Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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has 75.63 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, redneck, sex, women
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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has 75.63 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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has 75.63 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
One day, Bob came home from school very happy and that got his mother suspicious; "What’s the matter Bob? How come you’re that happy?" "You can’t even imagine-..! Today at school, I planted a bomb on the teacher’s chair and we all laughed sooo hard!" The mother upset: "Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Don’t you know that you’re going to be suspended? How you think you’re gonna show up in the school again tomorrow?" And Bob, with a stupid smile on his face: "School? What school?"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?" I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
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