Best jokes ever

"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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has 75.65 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.
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has 75.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, teen
Q: What's Mexicans favorite video game. A: Borderlands.
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has 75.64 % from 709 votes. More jokes about: game, mexican, racist
One day, Bob came home from school very happy and that got his mother suspicious; "What’s the matter Bob? How come you’re that happy?" "You can’t even imagine-..! Today at school, I planted a bomb on the teacher’s chair and we all laughed sooo hard!" The mother upset: "Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Don’t you know that you’re going to be suspended? How you think you’re gonna show up in the school again tomorrow?" And Bob, with a stupid smile on his face: "School? What school?"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?" I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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