Best jokes ever

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time. Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They forget the recipe.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: computer, women
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Vote:
has 75.61 % from 2028 votes. More jokes about: black people
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
Vote:
has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, car, mean, work
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote:
has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
Vote:
has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, life
<<<225226227228
More jokes →
Page 225 of 1427.