Best jokes ever

First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong... God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, life
A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night. “Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.” “Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dad, lawyer, money
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: democrat, time
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear David, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
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has 75.60 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, money, school, student
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer. Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, sport
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off." "Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: family, political, time, women, work
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, women
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