Best jokes ever

A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, "Breast fed." The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk." Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"
Vote: has 75.73 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, women
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote: has 75.72 % from 188 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, women
Yo mama so fat she got a parking ticket for standing at a crosswalk.
Vote: has 75.70 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Vote: has 75.68 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, celebrity, golf, sport
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Hitler, mother in law, wife
The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer. “Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car. “Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer. “Wait’ll my family finds out.” “Where’s your family?” “They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, money
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Vote: has 75.65 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health