Relationship status - table for one but drinks for two.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
Jimmy's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Jimmy." Jimmy says, "Now! I can see why they threw him out!
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the intenet to be worldwide.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.