Best jokes ever

A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: life, religious
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: men
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them. George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon". Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, political, sex
This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…"
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has 75.65 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, jewish, life
"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
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has 75.64 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, office, work
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
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has 75.64 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation. After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump. The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it. The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
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has 75.62 % from 376 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, sex
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time. Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
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