Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
What did the Left Nut say to the right nut?
Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a d*ck!...
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class.
She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female.
"The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis."
A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong.
"My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’
To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
Vote:
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day.
Husband: Well next time take the car then silly.
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient.
"How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?
A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!