Best jokes ever

Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
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has 75.67 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: men
My wife said wanted something shiny that went from 0-150 in under 2 seconds. I gave her a scale.
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. "Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside. "No, but it's okay, I got the license plate number!"
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: women
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money
Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, "Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?" "I'm taking her to the bulls so she would get impregnated," answers Johnny. The mayor is shocked, "Surely your father had better be doing that?" Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, "Nah, I think it's really best left with the bulls."
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Q: What's Mexicans favorite video game. A: Borderlands.
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has 75.65 % from 692 votes. More jokes about: game, mexican, racist
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