Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.