Best jokes ever

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
Vote:
has 75.59 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: priest, religious, sex, travel
Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
Vote:
has 75.59 % from 586 votes. More jokes about: sex
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?" My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
Vote:
has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: internet, life
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Vote:
has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 841 votes. More jokes about: airplane, genie, sex, women
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, sport, Yo mama
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
<<<227228229230
More jokes →
Page 227 of 1430.