Best jokes ever

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, dog
A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?" "Because that's where we conceived her." "Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, family, geography, sex
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: sport
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
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has 75.54 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town.
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has 75.54 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: sex, wife
Why don't black people dream? Because the last black guy that "had a dream" got shot
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has 75.53 % from 1276 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
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has 75.53 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: bible, catholic, sport
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