Best jokes ever

Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 75.41 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.41 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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has 75.40 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
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has 75.40 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? Yes, honey, three times. When was the first time? Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you? Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time? Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?
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has 75.39 % from 732 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
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