Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.
She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain.
On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
A man goes to a psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about relations."
The psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots.
"What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman having relations."
The psychologist says, "Very interesting," and shows the next picture.
"And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman having relations."
The psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman having relations."
The psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with relations."
"Me!?" demands the patient.
"You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote:
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.
Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?