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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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