Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"