Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.