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How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup some interest!
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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