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I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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