"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sex?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy cow!"
"Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh dear!"
"No, no! Deer run too fast..."
I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday.
She opened it up and it was a tea pot.
She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you."
The boy said "That's good."
Mum said "However I already have a tea pot."
The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife.
A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?"
The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!"
The undertaker does as he is told.
On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.
The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious.
The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a tree it made paper.
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly.
Lorraine dies suddenly.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote:
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Vote:
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.