Best jokes ever

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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has 75.21 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, mother in law, time
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother: "Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale." "Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, family, husband
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: husband, wife, women
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day. Husband: Well next time take the car then silly.
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: car, husband, wife
Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I couldn't understand why it hurts a lot when you bite your tongue accidentally, but it doesn't hurt when you bite it intentionally, and what I couldn't understand most is why you're biting your tongue right now?!
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: life
Why dont mexicans cross the border in groups of 3's? Cuz the signs at the border say no Trespassing.
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has 75.19 % from 404 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, travel
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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has 75.18 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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