Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
I would have five dollars...
You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...
You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon.
I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
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