Best jokes ever

A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: drug, ethnic, fitness
Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, war
There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: life
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: internet, stupid, technology, weather
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I'll go home."
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, wife
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest
Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
What does the black kid across the street get for christmas? Your bike...
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has 75.93 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: racist
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