Best jokes ever

The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer. “Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car. “Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer. “Wait’ll my family finds out.” “Where’s your family?” “They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
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has 75.17 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: life
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun replies: "I poked one once." St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven." He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once." "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven." Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front. "Whats wrong?" he asks. The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
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has 75.16 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, religious
Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” Boy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
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has 75.16 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: school
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
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has 75.16 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: car, school
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.
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has 75.15 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, ginger, stupid, travel
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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has 75.13 % from 377 votes. More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
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has 75.13 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
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has 75.13 % from 390 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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has 75.12 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor
Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? A: Self-employed.
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has 75.09 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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