Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months. The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, dating, old people, travel
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. "Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside. "No, but it's okay, I got the license plate number!"
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: cop
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day. Husband: Well next time take the car then silly.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, husband, wife
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
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has 74.71 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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has 74.71 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. - "I'm not drunk, I'm Asian"
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has 74.70 % from 485 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, asian, racist
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