Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad?
A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark.
Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house.
A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?"
"'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
Q: Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
A: He thought he was melting.
"Siri, why am I still single?"
Siri activates front camera.
Vote:
One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven.
So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes.
The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley.
Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard."
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Vote:
What really separates black people from society?
Prison.
Vote:
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.