Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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has 74.72 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
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has 74.72 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: hunting, redneck, stupid, time
A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding. He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks, stated to no one in particular, "Lawyers are horses' asses." One of the locals spoke up on hearing this: "Mister, you'd better watch what you say. You're in horse country."
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: bar, divorce, lawyer, travel, vulgar
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician? A Labracadabrador!
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: life
Two blond girls are discussing: "Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!" "Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, sex
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: athlete, music, sport
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT
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