Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orleans thought Katrina came back to finish the job.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!” And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!