When a White guy is...
Scared- He gets even whiter.
Cold- He turns Blue.
Angry-He turns Red.
Stoned- Gray duh.
Sick- He turns Green.
When a Black guy is...
Scared- He stays Black.
Cold- He stays Black.
Angry- He stays Black.
Stoned- He stays Black.
Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.
Vote:
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running, but can't remember where.
Why is there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"?
A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
Vote:
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.
They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed.
The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.
The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off.
The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?".
To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down.
The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?"
"I liked her."
"Why did you raped the boy?"
"I liked him."
"Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?"
"I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote:
Your mama so fat she eats ice cream with a shovel.