Best jokes ever

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
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More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
Q: How do pirates make their money? A: By hook or by crook!
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Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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More jokes about: life, mother in law
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
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More jokes about: time, weed
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
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More jokes about: age, business, insulting
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
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Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
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More jokes about: easter, sport
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
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