Best jokes ever

There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 74.51 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: love, relationship, single
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
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has 74.50 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
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has 74.50 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: priest, religious, sex, travel
Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
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has 74.50 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, stupid
Yo mamma's so fat that she had to get baptized at seaworld.
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has 74.49 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
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has 74.46 % from 808 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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