When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS." Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked. "I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman. The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand. "Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.