Best jokes ever

"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?" "Because I helped her."  "But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?" "I helped her eat her gummy bears."
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has 74.03 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, little Johnny
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?" Wife: "That's your job." Hasband: "Says who?" Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page." Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee." Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."
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has 74.02 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: bible, marriage, religious
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 73.98 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
A woman wants everything from one man. A man wants one thing from all the women.
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has 73.97 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
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has 73.96 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, food, nerd
A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
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has 73.96 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: school, soccer, teacher
Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
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has 73.95 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: life
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
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