Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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has 74.13 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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has 74.13 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.
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has 74.12 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: racist, weather
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
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has 74.12 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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has 74.12 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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has 74.09 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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has 74.09 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
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has 74.08 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: school
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican
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