What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong...
God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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"Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!"
Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a d*ldo up her.
"What are you doing," he shouts.
"Well you won't let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute," she explains.
The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a d*ldo up his arse
drinking a can of beer, "What are you doing," she shouts.
He replays, "Having a beer with your boyfriend."
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
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French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!