Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse.
They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage.
The penguin asks, "How long will it be?"
The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes."
So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street.
When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream.
Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage.
With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?"
The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."
Yo Mama so old...
She's got Adam and Eve's autograph.
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
A: It’s not hard.
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"
Knock, knock;
Who is there?
Love;
Love who?
U, U, U!
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If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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