Best jokes ever

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: IT
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull yourself up.” And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes!
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 73.47 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
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has 73.47 % from 470 votes. More jokes about: Facebook
When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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has 73.46 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, mean
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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