Best jokes ever

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
Vote:
has 73.06 % from 435 votes. More jokes about: blonde
I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."
Vote:
has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: management, money, stupid
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
Vote:
has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
Vote:
has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: business, disgusting, doctor
Yo mama is so fat when she left the room everyone could breathe again.
Vote:
has 73.04 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Pr*stitute in the police station. The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
<<<281282283284
More jokes →
Page 281 of 1429.