Best jokes ever

A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dating, women
Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: school
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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has 73.20 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
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has 73.20 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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has 73.20 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
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has 73.20 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
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has 73.20 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: food, sport
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
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has 73.18 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
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has 73.18 % from 433 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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