Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store? The sign said "Wet Floor."
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Yo mamma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Chuck Norris took a nap. The result was the Great Depression.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.