Pr*stitute in the police station.
The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?"
She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers.
She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
"235,000 miles."
Her friend told her that was the problem.
But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted.
So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000.
Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles.
The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Vote:
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body.
More humiliating?
It was attached to my left breast.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
A bittersweet victory.
Vote:
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks".
How right they were.
Vote:
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Justin Bieber puked on stage.
That settles it, she's pregnant.