Best jokes ever

I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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has 73.02 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things. Doctor: Since when did you have these problems? Patient: What problems?
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: IT, time
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there. Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?" "I have to throw this away," replied the tourist. "You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered. The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want." The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers. "Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist. "No. This is the American Embassy."
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has 73.01 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: racist
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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has 72.98 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, travel
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
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has 72.98 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
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