The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’
To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
Vote:
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Vote:
Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day.
They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it.
He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
Vote:
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI