Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it.
Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
What did one tit say to the other?
I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner.
We actually talked to each other.
It was awful!
Vote:
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy:
Daddy, where did I come from to this life?
You were brought by a stork.
That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams.
Son: No father I'll score 100% marks.
Father: Why are you kidding?
Son: Who started?
A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
.
.
.
.
Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?”
Johnny: “I don’t know.”
Teacher: “Bark, Johnny, bark.”
Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived".
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?".
The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.