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Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says: "Son, how much do you make a day?" The guy replies: "150 dollars!" The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back. A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks the owner: "Have you seen that UPS driver? I asked him to wait here for me!"
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A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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I visited my new friend in his flat. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
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