Best jokes ever

"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, wine
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
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has 73.44 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
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has 73.44 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: history, school
Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second? A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
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has 73.44 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: age, sex, travel, viagra, wedding
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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has 73.42 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
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