Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!" "Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!"
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".