"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
What do you call a bunch of mexicans in a barn? Modern farm equiptment.
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.