Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer? A: "You have a hole in one."
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.