Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please stand up!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he’s the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don’t know what we’re voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, heaven
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer, work
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: business, life, student, women
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, life
Yo Mama so old... She's got Adam and Eve's autograph.
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has 74.12 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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has 74.09 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
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