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Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer? A: "You have a hole in one."
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
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Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
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Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
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A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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