Best jokes ever

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Vote:
has 72.83 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, hunting, math, nerd
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Vote:
has 72.83 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, internet, life, music
Yo mamma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
Vote:
has 72.82 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: sex
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room. "No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fitness, work
<<<286287288289
More jokes →
Page 286 of 1429.