Best jokes ever

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. "And why not, darling?", the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
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Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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More jokes about: blonde, communication, sport, stupid
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer? A: "You have a hole in one."
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine