Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full".
That's just 3 random words.
I'm going to try now.
Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Yo mamma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from
boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance.
"Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy."
Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap.
When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again.
Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening."
So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him.
"What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once.
You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"
"What twenty minutes?" growled the boss.
"Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college.
The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse.
He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl.
She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive.
After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in.
The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window.
The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress.
As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window.
Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing.
The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window.
The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
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Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip.
They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed.
One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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